shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
