Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM VODKA MAN
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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