Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize