so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
