dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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