you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
