I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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