The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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