Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
