I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
