How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
