to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
