When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize