haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
