I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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