hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
