we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Alive.
So much puke
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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