she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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