I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
