He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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