I have demons in me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We had sex on a dog bed..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
