Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
