i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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