he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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