Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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