you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
