Yo dont text me then not text me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
