Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
