this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize