I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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