Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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