last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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