My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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