im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
