Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
