whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Someone signed my nipple.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
