Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
