You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
