oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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