Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
