god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
