When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
