if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
