He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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