i just snorted my name. best moment ever
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
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Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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