Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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