we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
