I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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