you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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