What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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