After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
