so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize