this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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