I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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