Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
