pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
