i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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