I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
