Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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