dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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