Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
