trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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