Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
