Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
