I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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