Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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