the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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