I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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