I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
