I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
