it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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