i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
