Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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