the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she peed on how many people?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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