Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
